Young, Wild, Free, and Careless

Yep, that's me in the middle right, folded arms with a confident smile! I really love this old picture of me. It brings back memories that almost forgotten. I think I was 20 something in this picture. I couldn't recall for what purpose we posed like this. Selfie-photo was not common at that time, so I guess there must be a special event before it was taken.



Yep, I was young, wild, free. I did thing I like and avoided things I didn't like. I loved my friends, they were like me, I was proud to be a part of that special community. I just loved to play and had good times. I did what they did. I went to our base camp almost everyday. Just to hangout. Just to spend time between school sessions. Just to have fun. But I still knew what I should not do.

I avoided my kost mates, because they were so holy. I didn't understand why they loved to go to church and sang church songs. Well, I wasn't that allergic to church things but I just had a strong feeling that I didn't belong there. No hatred, just not my cup of tea.

Now, I do miss my old kost mates. They were good men, and still. How are they doing? I know Ko Awi is in Paris. His room was at the right side of mine. He always wore a pair of socks when studying 'cos Bandung was quite cold at night. He was the one who asked me to go out with him, and David, my other kost mate, to attend a Christian service. They were proud that finally they could 'drag' me to come to God, haha. David rented a room at the right side of mine, a Balinese. I remember feeling a bit uneasy when meeting him 'cos he would talk 'abruptly', telling me that I should not do this or that as a girl. But he lent me his guitar for learning church songs, only. When I 'broke' the rule, he got back his guitar from me, haha. He even criticized my choice of church song, I loved hymns, 'till now. He said those songs were for old men. My favorite one was Bang Surung. He was kind, helpful, open his room whenever I came to visit, just to mock him, together with my friend, Kak Dora. We loved to admire his eyes, hazel brown, so cute. And he would blush to hear our comments, haha. I once got news that he was working as a operational manager of Motorola.
That was me!

I was young, wild, free, and...careless. I never informed my parents wherever I traveled with my friends in the pictures. My worried mom would say 'no'. I owned my own life, that was what in my mind. I almost got lost at the sea when we departed at Labuan Bajo. I got typhoid once 'cos I didn't eat well, I ate whenever and whatever I wanted. I had to be hospitalized for 8 days at Borromeus Hospital. Still, it didn't stop me.

I stopped doing what I did when my father passed away in 1997. It was shocking. I couldn't accept this, why God took my father away. I didn't feel angry with God, just wasn't ready when death became a reality in my life. I thought God would ALWAYS help my father, remembering that he ever got bloody vomit four years before. I thought my father would see me 'til my graduation. When I saw my father's dead body, I couldn't stand beside him. It was a nightmare.

I concentrated deeply in my study, just to get my degree as soon as possible. My friends asked me why I never spent time anymore at our base camp. I just gave a simple answer, "I want to graduate and leave this place as soon as possible." They stayed away. Finally, I finished my study in 4 years and 4 months. And, I become another person.