If you know what I mean

The more I live, the more I learn to speak out for myself and be true to myself. I don't let people who wait for my response or answer, wait forever. I will answer it straightforwardly. I'm tired of being misunderstood and seen as a "good" girl who stays silent whatever happens. I have decided to follow Jesus wholeheartedly, so I have to say goodbyes to what keeps me from Him. It might be a cliche, but the more I think of being a good human, I come to the conclusion that I need to free my mind, not in a selfish mean, but so that I can pray and do more. I need silence, and peace in my heart and my soul, no matter what. Too much noise, and opinions from people who think they know the best, I need to be alone with my God. Sometimes I feel like standing amid wilderness, with no clue at all where to go. And it's intensified these days. Depression is in front of me, I tend to be alone and unbothered. But my Lord never leaves me in my storm. People might not know, they only think I love being distant. Yes, I like to be alone, unbothered, but I know it slowly leads me to depression. I don't want it. I want to face all of the difficulties, and win, with my Lord. I want to be like David.